I’m not going to bother doing the whole “cor blimey 2016 was wank but 2017 is going to be better” stuff because years aren’t real. The sludgy river of time is trickling onward and we’re being dragged along for the ride. Still, I’m going to express some hope that maybe, just maybe, some specific things are going to be better from now on, in little ways.
This year will be the year that my lovely and talented wife finishes her degree after working so hard for so long. That’s going to be gratifying no matter what else happens. But hopefully that won’t be the end of it. Hopefully it will be the start of her moving away from a job she’s hated for ages now and towards the sort of thing she actually wants to do. And let me tell you; what she wants to do is so cool. I’m basically going to be married to a super hero.
As for me personally, who knows. Maybe this is the year I write something people are actually interested in reading. Maybe the only person I’ll entertain is my wife. Both are just as good. 2016 was a very introspective year for me, a year in which I’ve spent a lot of time in my own head working through some old anxieties (mainly to make way for all the new ones which come flooding in every time I check the news). I’ve come to terms with a lot of what I am and aren’t and going forward I am going to use that to be the best possible version of myself. And the best possible version of myself right now is someone who protects and supports my wife while following her around as fastidiously documenting each and every awesome thing she does.
Basically, the best possible version of myself looks a bit like this:
To that end, I have started making YouTube gaming videos again, because I know she likes ’em. My set-up isn’t perfect but I’ve got enough cobbled together to make vids that are at least functional. Also, it turns out I have a fan! When I uploaded a video yesterday, someone welcomed me back. Checking out their channel, I found a fanvideo for me that they made 11 months ago. Which is both flattering, adorable and also makes me feel mega guilty for just vanishing near the beginning of last year.
But there shall be no more vanishing. I like to think of my year of introspection as being me going into my pupa form. Like the fat caterpillar from A Bug’s Life, I have now emerged; that same fat caterpillar but with a tiny pair of wings, which I shall use to propel myself to modest new heights of Doing Things.
As for what’s going to happen with the rest of the world this year. Well, who even knows. I’m certainly not going to delude myself into thinking global events are going to be any less despair-inducing. But after all the garbage me and my wife personally fought through last year, I am going to make sure that side of things is well improved at the very least. Out of sheer spite, if nothing else.